Wow, December already? Time moves so fast. Even when it's impossible , even when it gets hard, but pass it does. Few more days till a whole new year begins. I don't know about you guys, but i CANT WAIT for 2009 to end. Cause HELL, it's been the worst year for me , yet.

Where to start? I really have no idea. But rather than bore you with every detail of my life since back when I abandoned blogger. I’ll sum it up best that I can.

Well the last few weeks of my life have been a real roller coaster. Actually that’s an understatement. My life was torn apart, ripped at the seams a little while back. And there’s no point pretending; it hurts, it still really hurts. Not all the time, but those quiet moments when I’m alone and my mind starts to wonder, or when I see all my friends and how happy they are in all their relationships, or just the randoms on the street holding hands. I used to have that. And the thing that hurts the most is the fact that it wasn’t mine or even his fault that it ended; it was an outside force. A fucking outsider that had to fuck up everything that was perfect in my life, everything I ever wanted. And also that because of them, I’ll never have it back. Ever, I just know it. Ouch.

You know I can’t even think of anything else to write. I feel in a way worse because I’m suddenly reliving these moments and feelings that I’ve been trying so hard to push to the side. But I figure it’s better to get it out.