Sometimes, I really look at how things are around me. Or with myself. And what I find, I don't like at all. That, and I realize I've been making more mistakes than a normal person would recently.

These past few months, i 've never felt a profound unhappy feeling. I didn't like that feeling. I should pull myself together again. I didn't want to feel so heavy. It shouldn't feel that way. But that's wishful thinking. I have no control over what my heart wants to feel.

I have so many things in life. So many. They always make me happy.

Except when they're not. Making me happy, that is. Or rather, when I'm just not. Last few month, I was not. I hoped everyone would leave me alone so I can sort things out. Dislike, annoyance, disgust and perhaps even hate were building more and more everyday inside me. These nasty feelings are angled and directed to many things. I can't exactly say what exactly. Myself, people, situations, etc. It's shitty, I've never been this much of a troublesome (hateful) person, yknow, despite the occasional hypocracy and lying fronts. Heh, I'm no saint.


But things have tremendously changed now. I am once more happy again. To be back home, to be with my family , friends, and Ehsan. It's like i'm in a vague dream i had before. It's true when they say that "You will never know what you've got till it's gone". Before the legendary Michael Jackson left us, people had mocked him , made fun of him, made use of him. Now that he's gone, people have finally realised how big the world's loss of him. Despite that he was a really weird dude when he was alive, he was definitely a legend, and his legacy will forever live on.

♥ 9:14 PM