Sometimes, I really look at how things are around me. Or with myself. And what I find, I don't like at all. That, and I realize I've been making more mistakes than a normal person would recently.

These past few months, i 've never felt a profound unhappy feeling. I didn't like that feeling. I should pull myself together again. I didn't want to feel so heavy. It shouldn't feel that way. But that's wishful thinking. I have no control over what my heart wants to feel.

I have so many things in life. So many. They always make me happy.

Except when they're not. Making me happy, that is. Or rather, when I'm just not. Last few month, I was not. I hoped everyone would leave me alone so I can sort things out. Dislike, annoyance, disgust and perhaps even hate were building more and more everyday inside me. These nasty feelings are angled and directed to many things. I can't exactly say what exactly. Myself, people, situations, etc. It's shitty, I've never been this much of a troublesome (hateful) person, yknow, despite the occasional hypocracy and lying fronts. Heh, I'm no saint.


But things have tremendously changed now. I am once more happy again. To be back home, to be with my family , friends, and Ehsan. It's like i'm in a vague dream i had before. It's true when they say that "You will never know what you've got till it's gone". Before the legendary Michael Jackson left us, people had mocked him , made fun of him, made use of him. Now that he's gone, people have finally realised how big the world's loss of him. Despite that he was a really weird dude when he was alive, he was definitely a legend, and his legacy will forever live on.

♥ 9:14 PM

♥ 12:41 AM

♥ 10:54 PM

I'm HOME ! For 2weeks baby. Thank God for civilization!

Boy do i have so much to tell

First and foremost, i think i can finally learn to get used of living there. I know i was being overly emotional about living in hostels and all, but hey, there's first time for everything right.

AND speaking of first time, Mom, Dad and Myra said i've gained weight. "Sara macam dah berisi dah sekarang, especially your arms. What have you been eating there?" Never did it occur to me that i'd be hearing those words , all my life, i had thought that the only time i'd gain weight is when i 've become a mother of 5 children. Nevertheless, it was kind of a good news for me . For most girls, it'd be the other way round. HAHA

♥ 5:54 PM

I knowww, this is the longest i've been away from blogging. But you can't possibly blame me for it, knowing the internet connection here, and the schedules which i'm packed with. But not to worry, for my mid-semester break starts NEXTWEEK , which means i can make it up for not blogging so much :) but first i'd have to go through stuipd exam. GRRR. Till then :)

♥ 4:22 PM